DUMPED MODEL ON THE PROWL

Yep I know it’s crazy, but I’ve been dumped.
It has happened before which is evencrazier/scarier.
I do wonder why…
I buy expensive perfumes to smell nice, I’m an avid internet shopper so I look allright,  I don’t fart in public and I even take supplements so my skin glows.
Is this really not enough?
Let’s look a little bit more into why a man would dump a girl like me.
I heard I was too touchy, certainly I get bad menstrual symptoms, but to go as far as calling me emotional.
Yes I like my ‘’things’’  (anything from toothpaste to knickers, food, papers, ropes, blindfolds, etc.) being a certain way so don’t touch it, I mean seriously just don’t touch it.
Then you call me emotional because I go into hysterics when you have touched my stuff which I have told you not to touch? ARGH.
No I am not emotional, I may be a bit manic but I am french and that is a totally valid excuse!

Anyway, as all friends that matter, do, I was called up to go on all these amazing trips which were meant to mend my heart.
Ok fine I WAS heartbroken, but the trips worked wonders!
Or was it the booze? Or boys? Maybe the girls?
I mean god knows what did it but it worked!
Obviously the few come downs (especially after Ibiza) meant I thought of myself as a worthless little shit and wanted to die, but I am alive, kicking and pretty happy about it at this very moment.
I am now on my way to Mykonos which will probably make me feel like dying again but that’s all part of the fun.
Yes I also went on a safari. Do you hate me yet?

As for the boys, not really getting there…

So if anyone is interested into finding a fun, blonde, not too tall, a bit chubby if drinking too much, completely insane, I am your girl!!!

I, preferably, like toffs on the chubby side who drink too much and dress funny. But I am open to options.
Irish accents is a BIG plus.

Please somebody call before my liver gives up on me!