5 REASONS I’M OVER TIM BURTON

Because he is one of the most irritating and most pretentious directors operating today. Corpse Bride? No, thanks. Frankenweenie? I’d rather not, if you don’t mind.

Because his idea of making a movie is to dip everyone in emo-goth eyeliner then roll the cameras, and just so you know, every time you pay to see his samey-samey films, it just powers up his dark orb of a brain to produce more. Stop now.

Because ‘Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children’ was all story and none of it matters. Like ALL of his films.

He’s collaborating with Disney on a live action version of Dumbo. Let’s all prepare now for the most depressing film about an elephant since I saw Gus Van Sant’s distillation of teenage alienation and angst called ‘Elephant’. Not actually about elephants at all, but just as depressing as Tim Burton’s film will be.

Because Johnny Depp needs to take on some other movie roles before Hollywood doesn’t care about his ass anymore.

*I have not seen any of Tim Burton’s films by the way. Because they’re directed by Tim Burton.


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