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NEWSLETTER – DECEMBER 2015

NEWSLETTER – DECEMBER 2015

Since my last Media Review, Let’s be honest, the world has become increasingly more fucked up.
Kimye had a son called Saint. Like really. Saint. Saint West. Allegedly because they wanted their childrens initials to be NW and SW. Slow clap.
Anyway.
Europe has been a victim of tragic terrorist attacks.
Whilst in the USA, Donald Trump still has 34.8% of favorable opinions.
(“Basically Trump is what would happen if the comments section became a human and ran for president” being the most relevant description I have read in a long time.)
The Ice is melting and we might all have to become Vegan to save the planet.

But do not worry, UNEMPLOYED, the internet is here to remind us that there are still reasons to be joyful.
All is not lost.
Here are a few links to cheer up your boring christmas dinner and put a smile back on your mulled wine hung over face:

Safety First.

It’s time to stay safe America: here is a map to avoid Donald Trump. Might come in handy.
http://www.mapquest.com/avoidtrump/

Remember kids, threat can come from anywhere. And it seems like the new war on terror might come from squirrels.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/wildlife/12031421/residents-warned-after-squirrel-attacks-8-people.html

Also let’s keep in mind never to trust social media platforms.
“Man allegedly used Facebook, Instagram to find women, steal their underwear”, warns the LA Times. Stay safe, underwear.
http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-social-media-undergarment-thief-20151208-story.html

Enough health and safety;
New year is in less than 30 days. Time for us to reflect on what the new year really means.

New year is the time to build bridges, reconnect with friends that you haven’t heard from in a long time.
Well then, you should be interested in knowing that the Hanson brothers are back.
And THAT is amazing news. Also because they are not singing but brewing their own booze.
MMM-hops as the Daily Mail puts it.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3341389/Hanson-hops-singing-MMMBop-brewing-beer.html

New Year is the time when you can learn new skills. So, we thought we would learn how to perfect a Russian Accent. Cause let’s be honest, it could come in handy. Xopowo.
http://weirdrussia.com/2015/10/16/how-to-do-a-russian-accent-learn-how-to-be-a-russian/

New year is the time to have empathy. If you think you were having a bad day, this guy lost his trousers while receiving an award from his president. Let’s all take a second to send him our thoughts.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3352315/Taking-strides-Croatian-human-rights-chief-s-TROUSERS-fall-exact-moment-receives-award-country-s-president.html?ito=social-facebook

New year is the time to be grateful. And I am grateful for Shia LaBeouf ’s art performances. After #IAMSORRY which involved the artist sitting silently behind a desk in LA’s Cohen gallery with a paper bag over his head that reads “I am not famous anymore”,  you can now call him and ask him any question at his latest performance in Liverpool. We can’t wait for the next one. Shia is so Unemployed.
http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-35059685

New Year is also the time to change your life around.
Like this KKK leader who was busted having sex with a black male prostitute. It’s never too late to change your mind.
http://guardianlv.com/2014/04/ku-klux-klan-leader-busted-having-sex-with-black-male-prostitute/?utm_content=bufferef2d2&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

New year is the time for new investment. Anyone keen on starting a kick-starter to buy a town?
What if we started an Unemployed Town hey?
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/south-dakota-ghost-town-sale-250-000-n471706

New year is also the time to reflect on the past year.
Here is Unemployed’s favorite news of the year:
A Saudi Arabian prince is accused by three female staffers of acting like a bizarre party boy — engaging in a gay-sex act in front of them, threatening a woman’s life, demanding that an assistant fart in his face while others watched and declaring, “I am a prince and I do what I want,” according to a report.
http://nypost.com/2015/10/21/saudi-prince-accused-of-gay-sex-threats-and-fart-in-face-demand/

Because no media review would be complete without a ‘Meanwhile in Russia’ section:

Get ready for 2016 with a calendar featuring orthodox priests with their pets. It’s seriously genius. It’s also maybe the only thing that can make me look forward to a new full year of unemployment.
http://weirdrussia.com/2015/12/02/holy-cats-2016-calendar-features-orthodox-priests-with-their-beloved-pets/

Russian sailor drank half a liter of rum before crashing 7,000-ton ship full speed into Scotland. Classic.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/russian-sailor-drank-half-litre-of-rum-before-running-aground-at-full-speed-leaking-25-tonnes-of-a6744161.html

Bizarre profile pictures on Russian dating sites include a woman lying with a giant fish, and a romantic hopeful in a washing machine. Take me as I am.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3345786/What-NOT-post-dating-profile-pic-Woman-posing-dead-fish-man-hugging-sheep-romantic-hopeful-inside-washing-machine.html

Happy Holidays Y’all.


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